More about the cake

Inquiring minds want to know more about my elaborate birthday cake so I thought I’d share some of the process here… minus the running to the store for ingredients we forgot.

This was a great project for a duo since there are numerous steps involved. The photos don’t even come close to Deb’s at Smitten Kitchen because my camera stinks, and well, she’s a professional. But you’ll get the idea. And  just looking at it will add a few pounds so be forewarned…

First, we made the crust in the food processor… chocolate wafers, bittersweet chocolate, brown sugar, and melted butter:

Then we pressed it all into the bottom and along the sides of a spring form pan:

Next up was the chocolate ganache: heavy cream, lots of chocolate, dark RUM. (Goslings, to be exact.) Yummy…

This needed to be poured into the crust and placed in the freezer for 30 minutes. Believe me, it was hard not to dip a few fingers in this as it oozed out of the pan:

Next came the main filling. This is where the cream cheese gets whipped with Kahlua, espresso powder, ground coffee, vanilla, sugar, and a few other things. Then it’s poured into the cooled pan over the ganache:

While the cake is baking for over an hour, you make the topping — a simple and slightly sweetened sour cream. This really makes the cake in my opinion. The tanginess cuts the sweetness and adds a cooling texture,  balancing the entire cake:

Then the cake goes back into the oven for 15 minutes and after it cools it looks like this:

We didn’t have a piping bag with proper tips, so we cut a small plastic baggie at the corner and lined the top of the cake with the left over ganache and garnished it with chocolate espresso beans. The finished product is in the post below, but here’s a piece:

If you find yourself chomping at the bit for an ambitious and extravagant dessert, check out the full recipe here.

I would make this again, but I think when all is said and done, I prefer a simpler cheesecake, and one I can have more than a few bites of without worrying that I’ll be awake all night. Still, this was a lot of fun to make and perfect for a birthday cake!

Birthday reflections

Birthday eve drinks... the Gin Fizz on the right took the prize

They say 40 is the new 30 and even though I have no idea who “they” are, I’m totally going with it since that puts me at 32 now and I like the sounds of that. Seriously, if someone gave me the choice of a million dollars or ten years, I’d take the years. (If you up that to 10 million, I’d have to think about it harder.)

Age isn’t something I ever thought about much… until I turned 40. Then everything started getting weird. College students suddenly looked really young, and I was older than a lot of people, and I needed more sleep and extra moisturizer. Gray hairs were making an entrance and muscle tone didn’t stick around as long. How had this snuck up on me?

When you have kids, I think you measure time differently. They change so fast, and you watch them go from one stage to another. When you’re childless, life can look more or less the same at 35 as it did at 25, give or take some lessons learned and (hopefully) wisdom gained.

I’m usually mistaken for being younger — sometimes much younger  – than my age. Not a bad problem to have, however there is a downside: People think you’re super smart and wise “for being such a youngster,” when really you’re just hopelessly behind everyone else in your peer group. You don’t want to point out the error, yet you do because you feel like a bit of a fraud.

I’m convinced that looking young — at least in my case — is 60% genetic,  30% eating well and staying active, and 10% positive attitude.  But aging comes for even the youthful looking, and it poses challenges. It’s hard to celebrate getting older in a culture obsessed with youth and physical perfection. We no longer live in a society — at least in North America — where elders are revered. Age can bring wonderful things — wisdom, compassion, confidence, freedom, grace, knowledge, depth, character, honesty. But when it comes down to it, we get the message that if we don’t look like a 22 year-old air-brushed magazine cover, we’re not quite cutting it. How many millions of dollars are spent on cosmetic surgeries and procedures each year to stay looking young? I’m all for looking good, but it’s really gotten out of control.

What I’m trying to get at… in a long-winded way… is that we get to choose how we approach aging. We — me, in this case — can complain and try to deny it, or be grateful for it — yes, grateful! — and seize the day.

I wasted time in my younger years because it seemed like I had forever. But I know now that I didn’t — and I don’t. Sure, there are some things you can’t rush or make happen, but there is never enough time to stay stuck or to live as though you have endless days.

I’m really grateful to have been given 42 years of life. I’m richly blessed in more ways than I can count. And this is what I need to celebrate every birthday — another year granted to me by God, another 12 months of blessings and growth and experiences. I would really like to age in a way that helps others — especially younger women — to not be afraid of it, to even look forward to it, and to have a sense of humor along the way. And I want to stop lamenting at what an old mom I’m going to be and focus on what’s great about becoming parents later in life.

As for my birthday, I had a fabulous day. Brian took a break from his regular Saturday work and study schedule to spend the day with me. (He’s the best.) We stopped by the Basilica to drop off a gift for the “giving tree” (presents for people in need) and spent some time in prayer.

December 12th is the feast day of the Virgin of Guadalupe, who is considered the Patroness of the Americas as well as the Patroness of Life… and Zoe is the word for supernatural life (in Greek), so it’s kind of fitting that we share the same day. (It would be even more fitting if I was Mexican… but surely it counts that I like Mexican food.) This image of Our Lady of Guadalupe is located in the crypt of the Basilica:

If you don’t know the story of the Virgin of Guadalupe, here’s how it goes… Back in the 1500’s an indigenous peasant man named Juan Diego was waking to church when a woman appeared to him near Tepayac hill. She looked like a young native woman, but he believed her to be the Virgin Mary. She asked him to tell the bishop to build a church in that very spot. After the bishop dismissed the story and said he needed a sign, Juan Diego went back to the hill where he saw the woman again and told her what happened. She asked him to gather roses from the hillside and present them to the bishop. (There were normally no roses at that time of year.) Juan Diego gathered the flowers in his cloak (or tilma) and went back to the bishop. When he opened his cloak to reveal the flowers, there was an intricate image of the lady he had seen imprinted on his tilma.

There are holes in the legend, and controversies, but needless to say, the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe has been revered for centuries and the tilma is on display at the Cathedral in Mexico City — one of the top three most visited Christian pilgrimage sites in the world. Most Hispanics, especially Mexicans, have a deep devotion to the Virgin of Guadalupe. The tilma image is fascinating as it contains a great deal of symbolism, and the young Aztec-looking woman seems to be wearing pregnancy  garb.

After the Basilica, Brian and I went to a favorite indoor market and had the best brunch ever. Food seems to play a big role in any good day of mine and thankfully Brian is the same. We spent a couple hours Christmas shopping, and later in the evening Brian took me to my favorite special occasion restaurant in Baltimore — a place we haven’t been to for years. We always surprise each other for our birthday dinners and this is exactly where I hoped we’d go.

I need to tell you about my birthday cake! Mags and I spied this recipe at our favorite food blog and deemed it my birthday cake for this year. We forgot to note just how expensive and involved it all was, but doggone it, we were determined. And we rocked it! Here’s us with the finished product, just before sharing it with friends Friday night after cocktails:

That’s called Cappuccino Fudge Cheesecake. And it’s the reason I was awake that night until 2:30AM.

A little bit of preparation

Where is the month going? For that matter, where did the entire year go? The past 12 months were marked with the ordinary stuff of life, but nothing remarkable… not much travel, no major changes, nothing that really stands out.

Except for paperwork. Lots and lots of paperwork. And inspections, and courses, and appointments, and mailing stuff over and over again. This was the year of paper chasing. And next will be the year of waiting and preparation. Kind of like a super long Advent, come to think of it.

Speaking of Advent, here’s my rugged outdoorsman walking home with our Christmas tree this evening:

Well, he’s really more of a city boy, with fantasies of going rural. But he looks awfully cute with that tree.

We were thrilled to see a local church around the corner selling trees at half the price they cost everywhere else.  Usually we wait until later before getting a tree, mainly because my birthday is this weekend and I just can’t get into Christmas preparations until my birthday is over. But when we wait, all the trees are gone or picked over, and we pay out the wazoo. It’s not quite the same as hiking in the woods for one when I was a kid, but we did get to walk home with a tree which is pretty cool when you live in the city.

I got a good start on gift-buying, though. If I want presents to get to Canada in time for Christmas, they have to be sent by the 14th. I love buying gifts for the people I love, but this year we need to keep it simple. Which is really hard to do when you have nine siblings, 11 nieces and nephews, divorced parents and their significant others, in-laws, single aunts you hate to leave out, Godchildren, friends, and each other. Not to mention wanting to give to so many worthwhile organizations who do amazing work at home and abroad.

I really think I could handle winning the lottery.

Christmas in Ethiopia

A woman on one of the adoption listservs I’m on sent this information about Christmas in Ethiopia (taken from this site). I thought you might enjoy reading about it:

The Ethiopian Christmas known as Ganna is celebrated on January 7th. This celebration takes place in ancient churches carved from solid volcanic rock and also in modern churches that are designed in three concentric circles. Men and boys sit separately from girls and women. Also the choir sings from the outside circle.

People receive candles as they enter the church. After lighting the candles everyone walks around the church three times, then stands throughout the mass, which may last up to three hours.

Food served at Christmas usually includes injera, a sourdough pancake like bread. Injera serves as both plate and fork. Doro wat, a spicy chicken stew might be the main meal. A piece of the injera is used to scoop up the wat. Baskets decorated beautifully are used to serve the wat.

Gift giving is a very small part of Christmas celebration. Children usually receive very simple presents such as clothing.

In Ethiopia… on Christmas Eve, the city is crowded with pilgrims from all parts of the country. They remain outdoors all night, praying and chanting. In the morning, a colorful procession makes its way to a nearby hilltop where a service is held. Three young men march at the head of the crowd, lashing whips from left to right to keep the people in line. Those who worship are fed with bread and wine that has been blessed by priests. After the service is over the rest of the day is spent dancing, playing sport and feasting.

Hello from the North Pole

Our house has been without heat for a little while. The technician is finally coming tomorrow to look at the heat pump. But in the mean time, we’ve been sitting by the fireplace, using a lot of the wood we thought would take us into the winter.

But it wasn’t until today that the temperatures really plummeted and my two pairs of socks, long underwear, and three layers just wasn’t enough.

I don’t do well in the cold, which people think is strange when they hear I grew up in Nova Scotia. When I’m cold, I lose all motivation to move or do much of anything — all my energy goes into trying to stay warm.

The upside? We’re saving some money this month. And we’re gaining a renewed appreciation for having heat. Plus there’s nothing like sitting by a roaring fire. But still, I can’t wait for this to be fixed.

Now I’m off to put on a sweater before getting under my duvee and wool blanket for the night.

How I went Mac

Today my coolness factor went up a notch. I got my very first Mac.

I’ve been using PCs for years… mainly because that’s what I’m used to and all my former offices used them. My artistic friends always had Macs and I gushed at how fabulous they looked. But I’m both a tech idiot and a practical person, so any decent computer I could actually operate was just fine by me.

Also, my husband was a bit… shall we say… anti-Mac. Sure, he had to admit they were awfully lovely. But because he’s a tech geek and liked to build computers and fool around with them, Macs were not his bag. Then one day — two months ago to be exact — he decided he had entered a new phase of life, the “I don’t have time to mess around with programs and components anymore” phase. Now he just wants a computer that works, and works well, and makes him happy to get his hands on the keyboard. Which in his line of work is basically all day and half the night.

And so the first Mac entered our home in the form of a MacBook Pro.

Then my laptop died. It just wouldn’t turn on one morning. Best Buy rescued some of my precious files, thank heavens. I had to use Brian’s former laptop — a rather large, clunky, quick-to-overheat machine that’s old and hard to take anywhere. Not so great for a girl on the go. The plan was to join my husband and get a Mac (Book) early next year.

But Black Friday came along, the only day of the year Apple offers deals on Macs (apparently), so we decided to do it now. A little savings is still a little savings. And December is a slower month at work so I can spend it learning a whole new tech world. Can you say justification?

Merry Christmas to me! (Yes, a bit early.)

Advent

A new year begins today in the Christian calendar — with the season of Advent.

This is the Advent wreath I made over the weekend to mark the four weeks until Christmas. It’s not always easy to live Advent when Christmas is already everywhere. I make a wreath every year to help us enter into the spirit of the season.

Advent is all about waiting…. about preparation, anticipation, and hope for what’s to come. For the Christian, this culminates in the celebration of the birth of Jesus on December 25th. Of course, these are also states of being that parents-to-be know very well.

I think the hardest part about waiting is to live fully in it. When you’re waiting for something or someone, you’re focused on the future — the not-quite-yet, and my, how time can stretch out. But it seems to me that how we live in the now determines who we’ll be when we get to what we’re waiting for.

Over the years, as I’ve dealt with the agony of waiting for this or that, I’ve learned that waiting can be a blessed state — a very formative place. It can teach you a lot about yourself, about God, about letting go. It can be painful, too, and pain is also a teacher if we let it be. I think God waits for us, just as we wait for so many things we long for.

If you celebrate Advent — or if you’re in a waiting state of any kind — I wish you a truly fruitful season.

Another blog award!

I was given a blog award by Coffeemom, who runs a site I frequently visit called Another Espresso Please. This was a surprise since I’m always shocked to discover anyone actually reads my blog. Coffeemom is the best, even though I’ve never met her, so I’m touched by the fact she mentioned me. Here are the official rules for the “Kreativ Blog” award:

1. Thank the person who awarded it to me, and link the person’s blog on mine.
2. Identify seven things about myself.
3. Award seven bloggers with the “Kreativ Blogger Award,” post links to their blogs, and leave a comment on each of their blogs, to let them know of the honor. Not sure what a Kreativ blogger is… and why can’t it just be spelled right? Or is that just me not being very “Kreative,” thereby proving I don’t deserve this award?

So a big thanks to Coffeemom, who linked to my blog and called me a “youngster.” I think she looks way too young to have such a brood (and one in college!). Actually, I’m willing to bet we’re close in age, which makes me feel like a total loser, but who’s counting? I think she really picked me because of my blog banner — she loves it, as I do. I keep thinking I should change it… something different… but those Ethiopian angels are just cool.

Okay, now seven things about myself…

1) As a child I used to make to-do lists and would schedule “thinking time” into my day. I’d then lie on my bed or go for a walk and think about all the deep questions of life. Sometimes it made my head hurt.

2) My first paying job was as a waitress at the only restaurant in town — a little Chinese place attached to a gas station. Since the owners were having marriage problems and the wife was trying to keep everything afloat, I was soon running the restaurant and cooking food for the customers. I was 15.

3) When I was 7, I climbed New Hampshire’s Mt. Washington with two of my aunts — all the way to the top. Afterwards I felt empowered, like I’d done something monumental.

4) I’m the oldest of 10 and always loved having so many siblings. We have a blast together and would choose each other as friends if we weren’t related.

5) I don’t like exercising, but wish I did. I make myself do it for the benefits, but get bored very quickly. It’s time to try yoga again…

6) I once had a pony named Peanut, and he died in a big barn fire the first winter I had him. Never did get another horse.

7) I don’t remember ever being told the truth about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, or the “facts of life”… I just always seemed to know the real deal on that stuff from as far back as I can remember.

Now on to those I’m giving this Kreativ Blogger award to… I think I gave some of these folks an “Honest Scrap” award a while back, so if I did that to you, please don’t hate me or feel like you have to do this again…

1) Kelly at Uninterrupted Prosperity. I visit Kelly’s blog a lot. We’re in the same place in our adoption journeys and live in the same city. Kelly writes well even though she’s a lawyer, go figure She’s a lovely, supportive, honest woman, with a good sense of humor and a kind soul. I’m grateful to know her in person now and to be following her path to building a family.

2) Harmony at Fermember When. I’ve been following Harmony’s blog for a while and she’s just the kind of woman you wish lived next door. She’s multi-talented and has a beautiful open heart she’s not afraid to share. Her name definitely suits her.

3) Sara at Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet. I discovered Sara’s blog fairly recently. She and her husband adopted two beautiful siblings so her experiences interest me. She’s an excellent writer and many of her posts read like a spiritual diary — her longing for God comes out clear and strong.

4) Kristin at Irishopian. I’ve been wanting to meet Kristin and maybe I will some day because we live in the same state. She’s got a bustling family life, lots of irons in the fire, and now she’s getting ready to go build some wells in Ethiopia. I like this woman already and always enjoy stopping by her blog.

5) Sarah at Much Has Been Given. I’ve been visiting Sarah’s blog for a while. She’s a gorgeous California babe who interrupted her DINK (dual income, no kids) life to adopt two adorable toddlers. She’s got a huge heart for orphans and strikes me as a get-it-done kind of girl. Her stories about being a new mom are fun to read and make me laugh. I often feel like I’m reading stuff I’ll be saying in another year or two.

6) Jenni at Sclater Scribbles. If there’s a creative blog out there, it’s Jenni’s. She’s a mom of three active boys and an award-winning photographer-to-be, no doubt about it. I’m inspired by the originality and creativity of her blog and the incredible moments she captures of her sons’ lives. Some day, they’ll be amazed, too.

7) Lindy at The Young Journeys. I just discovered Lindy through Kristin’s blog (see above). Since I’m a girl with two countries and many friends scattered around the globe, I’m interested in the adventures of people living abroad. Lindy and her husband are from Montana, live in Senegal, and adopted a child from Ethiopia. They’re going back for number two soon and l look forward to following their journey. Right now they seem to be in Spain. Jealous!

Phew. Almost done my award duty now. I just have to let all the above bloggers know about this. Hope they’ll forgive me.

Day After Gratitude

I wish I had some photos to show you of our terrific Thanksgiving day. (How can I be so bad at remembering to TAKE PICTURES? Argh!)

Anyway, take it from me it was a fantastic day. Fifteen adults, 10 kids, two beautifully laid-out tables, and a feast fit for kings. It was community cooking at its best. Abby has an enormous kitchen, which really helped. She and her family make hospitality look like a breeze. The 21 lb turkey, from am Amish farmer, was incredible. It was such a treat to have my brother, sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephews with us for the celebration. Mags and her contingent joined us, too. (My mouth is still watering thinking about her pumpkin bread pudding and homemade caramel sauce.)

I’m grateful for all of it.

If I listed everything for which I’m truly thankful, you would get mighty tired. Like so many of you, I don’t have the words to express the deep gratitude I have for my husband, family, faith, friends, the two countries I call home, our little house, the food I get to eat, good health, our work and colleagues… so much…

It’s all undeserved, really. Not because I’m a schmuck, which I am at times, but because most of the blessings in my life I did nothing to warrant. Providence granted them, and I know that means I’m not only to cherish them, but to be generous in return. And not simply with what I have, but with who I am — my very self. Which is part of reason I’m choosing to be a mother through adoption. “For those who have much, much is expected.” I shall have a lot to account for, no doubt.

A bad Slow girl

It’s a busy week and tomorrow I start cooking. This year, Thanksgiving is a collaborative affair, which is the way I like it. Some of my family will be coming from Philly and New York City and we’ll join my friend Abby’s clan down the street (and other friends) for a giant spread. I assigned myself the homemade cranberry sauce, a roasted pear salad, corn souffle, and Brussels sprouts. (My husband, though he’s the better cook, will play sous chef this year.)

I’m going to confess something: The Brussels sprouts above? They turned into green beans at the grocery store today. Which means I might as well turn in my creds as a Slow Food girl. I don’t know what I was thinking. Well, yes I do… I was thinking that the corn souffle will take all the oven space leaving no room for the sprouts to roast, but beans can be blanched and sauteed on the stove top. Plus they’re those skinny French beans, which I like with almonds. But they’re not seasonal, and they traveled miles to get here. Which is all very bad.

Please don’t tell Alice Waters.